Posts by Sara Annie

12

WHY PAY FOR Ex-Spouse to Squander funds? FOR DAYCARE?

by YoursChelbie in

jw
friends

Sara Annie

There seems to be this common misconception that child-support money received needs to somehow be dedicated to purchasing good that are visibly and directly beneficial to the child(ren) in question. I have often heard people say things like "Why should I give my ex-spouse $2,000 in child support? Clothes and shoes and food for two kids doesn't cost $2,000 a month!" What this attitude doesn't take into consideration is that child support payments are just that: funds to support the children in the lifestyle they would have if both parents (and their incomes) had remained united.

Child support absolutely should be spent on clothes, food, and daycare costs. But that is not ALL it should be earmarked for. Child support is mortgage/rent and utility money, as well as money to maintain the household through the purchase of any items to clean, maintain, and make life more comfortable. Child support pays the plumber to come in and fix the toilet everyone uses, and pays for the new couch in the living room that everyone sits on. It pays for haircuts, shampoo, deodorant, laundry detergent, make-up, pantyhose, clothes, and anything else the children need to be presentable and the primary care-giver needs to be able to go out to work everyday to earn money for his/her family. It even pays for dinner or a movie or a good book or a night out without the children for the custodial parent to recharge their batteries and remain sane while raising children without the full-time help of their other parent. A person who does not pay their court ordered support because the money 'benefits' an ex-spouse they harbor resentment for is a ridiculous excuse for a parent.

There are, of course, situations in which the custodial parent is untrustworthy with the funds and a poor caregiver to the children. I do not deny these situations exist, and I can imagine how hard that must be for the non-custodial parent. If the children are receiving adequate support and are still lacking basic necessities, there are legal avenues that can be pursued to have support orders decreased/increased and custody can be challenged by the concerned ex-spouse. In my experience, however, the vast majority of custodial parents do NOT make poor financial decisions. There are hundreds of thousands of single parents in the world today that exist with NO child support from the other parent of their children. They shoulder the burden, alone, of parents unwilling to contribute to their children's financial well-being because they can't get beyond their resentment.

I have two step-children, and two biological children. They are all my kids. When I fell in love with my husband, I knew that I'd have to love his kids as well, and each month he writes a hefty child-support check to his ex-wife. Does it grate on me sometimes? Yes. Do I agree with all of the financial decisions she makes? No. But I know that my husband and I would never begrudge the children anything. The bottom line is that when you make children, you make promises. You promise to give them a loving and safe life with all the advantages you can comfortably provide. And if life leads to a place where your children require financial support as a result of their parents decisions to dissolve the family unit, it is your responsibility to pay it.

62

Opposing war = passive support?

by expatbrit in

jw
friends

.

before everyone gets all huffy about another war thread, i tried to reply in the original thread, but it buggered up.

simon, if you want to move it there and get rid of this thread, please do.

Sara Annie

A few quick comments:

They don't even know what's going on in other parts of the war in Iraq, let alone the US and UK.

Wrong. The access our troops have to current information and communication methods in this war is astounding. Our soldiers have an unprecendented amount of information at their fingertips, and the knowledge of "what's going on in the world" is as close as the laptop in the backpack of the soldier standing next to you. Technology is allowing our servicemen/women to keep apprised of world events opinion about their war they are fighting. As to knowing what is happening in other areas, battlefield communication has come a very long way in the last several years. If you're impression of troop information sharing is based on old reruns of M*A*S*H, you're quite mistaken.

And by the way, moral support doesn't count as the soldiers aren't in a position to receive moral support until their return.

In addition to allowing greater communication between fighting forces, technology is also enabling them to receive messages of moral support from home. If you would like to send a general email message of support to the men and women overseas, one easy way to do so is by sending a message to [email protected]. In addition to general messages of support, many soldiers are able to contact their families via the internet. My children and I have gotten several emails from my husband, and were even able to use the AOL Instant messenger function to chat briefly.

My point is that we should never assume our troops are ignorant of the world climate beyond the stretch of desert they are on. Moral support does count, and is appreciated.

35

reponse letter to JW-fleshly-brother about my leaving the WT

by AhHah in

jw
friends

dear (jw-brother), .

i was pleased and pleasantly surprised to receive your thoughtful letter.

thank you for your concern and for taking the time to write.

Sara Annie

AhHah-

A very well written, thoughtful, loving response to your brother. Your one letter speaks as effectively about WT policy and it's ramifications for individuals and families as published volumes ever have. To approach the situation with love and tolerance while still being able to effectively express a dissenting view is truly a gift to your brother.

Thank you for sharing that, and I wish you peace on your continuing spiritual journey.

46

Alternative pets?

by DanTheMan in

jw
friends

well, i don't have the most active or exciting life, so i've been thinking about getting a pet to liven things up a little around the homestead.

dogs?

too much commitment, also high ownership expenses.

Sara Annie

Dan--

Answering your question about Tortoise hibernation, we're in northern Virginia, and they hibernate instinctually during the coldest months of the year. Every spring, they make their reappearance, both just recently dug out in the last few weeks.

Hope you find a pet you like!

21

DreamCatcher

by SheilaM in

jw
friends

thunder and i saw dreamcatcher based on the book of the same name by stephen king.

i screamed at least three times, it stayed true to the novel and the actors were amazing.

i loved how they made jonsey's office in his mind, it was just as i had imagined it.

Sara Annie

My husband and I both read the book (and as a long time King fan, I absolutely do NOT rank it among his best). We both enjoyed King's comments about the book, and his wife's reaction to it, though.

Of course, now I can't even think about the book, or the movie for that matter, without thinking of Tabitha King's characterization of the story as "the one with the shit-weasels".

32

Oscars

by LuckyLucy in

michael moore mad a fool out of himself when he trashed the president.

i loved it when the audience starting booing him.

i'ts like these celebrities are cutting off their noses to despite their faces.

Sara Annie

I think Adrien Brody's comments during his acceptance speech were the classiest of the evening. (And the fact that his reaction was just so darned gleeful and wonderful to watch was just a bonus)

46

Alternative pets?

by DanTheMan in

jw
friends

well, i don't have the most active or exciting life, so i've been thinking about getting a pet to liven things up a little around the homestead.

dogs?

too much commitment, also high ownership expenses.

Sara Annie

Hi Dan,

I can recommend Tortoises pretty highly if you're looking for low maintenance, but interesting pets. Before we met, my husband had a similar desire to have other living things around, but needed low maintenance pets due to his long work hours (and I think due to his extreme dislike of cleaning up, but he'll deny that). He purchased two Russian tortoises (Max and Shelley) and they have been wonderful pets for us. They are relatively small, won't get much larger than about 8-10" in diameter, and the children are fascinated by them. They have always lived outside, he built a "pen" of sorts outside using interlocking landscape rock walls filled with a foot or two of earth, a simple shelter, and a small circulating pond (he's an overachiever, a recessed drinking bowl would work just fine too). We feed them fresh vegetables daily, they take care of their business with very little cleanup, and the best part is that dig down into the ground and hibernate all winter! One word of caution: Properly cared for, our tortoises will live upwards of about 70 years. We'll probably be willing them to the children to keep in their own yard someday.

After 8 years, two kids, and two houses later, we now have a friggin menagerie! 2 Cats, 1 Dog, 2 tortoises, 1 Iguana, 2 mice, and a whole lot of fish later, we've lost the whole "low maintenance" desire, but still enjoy our tortoises.

32

Oscars

by LuckyLucy in

michael moore mad a fool out of himself when he trashed the president.

i loved it when the audience starting booing him.

i'ts like these celebrities are cutting off their noses to despite their faces.

Sara Annie

For example Richard Gere certainly deserved a nomination for his work in Hours but he didn't get it. Inside word in Hollywood is that the oscar people are sick and tired of his turning every platform into a polictal speech. So he got left off.
No I didn't see Hours, just read about it. That's a chick flick. I'm a guy.

Richard Gere wasn't in "The Hours". He was, however, wonderful in "Chicago", and should have received a nomination. If it was the reason he didn't get nominated, I agree that his turning every speech into a platform for his standard "Free Tibet" speech is pretty darn annoying.

58

The Truth about September 11 ( 9-11 )

by UnDisfellowshipped in

the official version .

of 9/11 is a hoax

commentary by john kaminski.

Sara Annie

Thank you so much for posting that!

Rarely do you get to see such concentrated, un-adulterated bullshit. And even rarer is getting to see an entire group of paranoid conspiracy theorists wetting their pants about how intelligent they all are for bucking the mainstream "disinformation" with rambling, unsupported drivel in their natural habitat.

Blind, wholly speculative, non-source cited, unbelievable assertions presented with an air of 'authority' surely must be given credence. Especially if they can be backed up with with unreliabale scientific evidence and clever diagrams by other posters. I guess you can take the witness out of the Watchtower, but...

51

Movies You Watch Over & Over & Over

by 3acrewood in

have you noticed there are certain movies you just never get tired of watching?

what's does your list include?

here are some of mine (in no particular order as to favorites):.

Sara Annie

Searching for Bobby Fischer

The Shawshank Redemption

BBC/A&E's Pride & Prejudice

Life of Brian

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

First Knight

Oh hell, there are too many...